The Daily Bongo

American Idol 2007

Wednesday, May 23, 2007 -- Evening

Tonight was the finale for American Idol. The show was two hours of performances and recaps. My favorite part was the return of the "bush baby" guy, Kenneth Briggs, who won the Best Buddy award. They gave it to him and this guy he buddied up with in the audition show. The funniest part was when Ryan Seacrest said that the show had sponsored a bush baby at the Milwaukee Public Zoo in Kenneth's name. Melinda Doolittle sang a few times, and it's obvious that she is a good singer. She should go far even without winning the show. The show ran over the two hours, and finally it was time to announce the winner. 70 million people voted and the winner was Jordin Sparks! She deserved the win, and I'm sure she'll be a success.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007 -- Evening

Jordin Sparks and Blake Lewis gave their final performances this evening on American Idol. The big news was the fact that Paula Abdul trippped over her chihuahua. Paula broke her nose and bruised herself badly. Blake Lewis sang first, and his first song was onw hw performed before, You Give Love a Bad Name. It was the usual beatboxing crap. I think that Simon Cowell said it all by saying that Blake was a good performer, but that as a singer, he ain't all that. Jordin was brave and sang a song that she didn't sing before, Fighter by Christina Aguilara. Jordin did a very nice job. It's obvious that she's the one who is a much better singer than Blake, and that she really deserves a record contract. Whether she wins or loses, she will have one. Simon said that he gave round one to Blake. Blake's second song was Room Five's She Will be Loved. This one was better. However, I just find Blake boring. Jordin sang Martina McBride's A Broken Wing. Jordin sang her heart out for this one. It's hard to believe that she is only 17 years old. All three judges loved Jordin's performance. Time for the last song which is the "recording song." Blake sings This is my Now. This song wasn't too bad, but not that great either. I think that I prefer Blake's voice without the beatboxing. HIs voice is weak though, and Blake's voice gets drowned out at times by his backup singers. Only Paula was happy with the song. Neither Randy or Simon was very enthused with it--and I can understand why. It was just a strange song. Now Jordin sings This is My Now. She does a great job with the song. It's like it was written for her voice. In fact, the song was the perfect fit for her, and she got teary eyed at the end. It was a perfect moment. If Jordin doesn't win, I'll be gobsmacked. Randy told Jordin that she was the best singer and that she deserved to win. Simon told Jordin that she wiped the floor with Blake with that song. The thing is that he's not wrong--even though Randy tried to play him down. If Jordin doesn't win, there's no justice. There are four hours to vote. I really do hope that Jordin wins.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007 -- Evening

Then there were two. Tonight was elimination night on American Idol. They dragged out the event as usual. We had clips of the threesome having ceremonies in their home towns. Elliot Yamin returned, and his newly reconstructed teeth looked very unnatural and cartoonish. Of course, that might be because I remember the original teeth. Finally we reach the part for which we have all been waiting. There were almost 60 million votes. Jordin was the first one to get word that she would move on to the next round. Melinda Doolittle then heard that she was not going any further. The finalists are Blake and Jordin. This is such an outrage because Melinda was a flawless singer. Gosh, I hope that Blake doesn't win in the end because he is really annoying.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007 -- Morning

I read a funny little blurp in the paper this morning. Kellie Pickler was asked point blank by Ryan Seacrest on his radio show if she had surgically enhanced her boobs. There has been alot of talk about how Pickler's boobs enter the room minutes before she does, and it is very obvious that they aren't the same size as when Pickler was on American Idol last season. Pickler's answer: "I don't know." Geeze, come on! If you are going to say something that stupid, just say yes. We all know "I don't know" means that. Well...considering that it is Pickler, she may be so dumb that she doesn't know if they were surgically enhanced.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007 -- Evening

It's down to the final three on American Idol. All three were being honored in their hometowns last weekend. Jordin Sparks was up first, and she sang a pick from Simon Cowell, Wishing on a Star. Both Randy and Paula liked it, but Simon wasn't too happy with the jazzy arrangement. As he said, he likes the more traditional version. So he didn't think it was Jordin's best performance. I would have to say that the singing was good, but I wasn't very impressed with the song. So then Paula Abdul picked the song for Blake Lewis. She picked Roxanne from the Police. I think that Blake really sucked with the song. This was definitely a very bad choice of songs for him. It sounded like extremely bad karaoke. Of course, Randy thought it was a great performance, and hot. Wow! I must be deaf! Paula thought it was good and fresh. Simon was the voice of reason and said that it wasn't as good as Sting, and that anyone singing that song is just doing a poor imitation. Finally Randy Jackson chose I Believe in You and Me for Melinda Doolittle. After listening to Melinda, I think that it comes down to the judges not picking very good songs. It finally picked up for Melinda at the end, so over all, she was the best of the bunch with her first of three songs. Simon said that it was a very difficult song to sing, and round one went to Melinda. Randy said that he picked a Whitney Houston song for Melinda because she could do it.

The second song was one picked by the producers. Jordin was given She Works Hard for the Money. I like Jordin, and I think that she did a good job with the song. Randy said that it doesn't matter what song Jordin sings, all of them are hot. Paula also thought Jordin did a good job. Simon thought it was a good performance too, although he kept on laughing at Paula. Blake was giving some song that sounded really bland and boring, and he threw more of the beatboxing crap into it. Of course, Randy and Paula thought that Blake was just the next best thing to sliced bread. Simon liked it better too, so it must just be my ears. Melinda sang an Ike and Tina Turner song. I think that the producers picked that song for her because Melinda has a Tina Turner sounding voice. It was a good choice for her. What was funny was that Randy thought that Melinda won the round, but Simon thought it was a tie.

Next up the Idols sang their favorite songs. Jordin was first with one of her repeat songs from earlier in the season. She sang I who have Nothing. Jordin did a great job. I liked the song the first time that she sang it, and she did an excellent job with it this time too. Simon thought that the song was just too old for Jordin who is only 17. Blake was up afterwards, but it was another one of unmemorable songs that he usually sings--in my opinion. Randy thought the song was cool, but just all right. Paula, of course, didn't have a single bad word for Blake, and even Simon liked Blake because he thought Blake's choice was a risky one. I really liked Melinda's final song. It was I'm a Woman. The song was the one that was used in the commercial that said taht the woman could do all these things, and spelled out the woman part. Simon gave Melinda a nice compliment by saying that week after week, Melinda consistantly delivered. I would get rid of Blake because I don't like him. However, I think that it might come down between him and Jordin. I just hope that Melinda and Jordin make it to the final.

Wednesday, May 9, 2007 -- Late Evening

After 45 million votes on American Idol, Lakisha Jones was sent home. The final two came down to her and Blake. I think that Blake will be the person who is in the most trouble next week. The show was an entertaining one. I recorded it and then fast forwarded. The best part was the segment of the final four Idols as children. They were all cute kids.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007 -- Evening

The theme tonight on American Idol was music from the Bee Gees. Now this was a tricky theme because this is sort of music that you can see people attempting to sing at karaoke might when they are drunk. I think that the Bee Gees did a nice job with the music but few else will. Since we are down to four singers, each had two songs. Barry Gibb was coaching the idols with their song selection. Melinda's first song wasn't all that, not bad, but not memorable. The second song was How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?. That was a whole slew better. Blake Lewis is annoying with the beatboxing crap that he does. He did Staying Alive first, then some other song that I never heard before. I just wish that I didn't have to hear it a second time because it was really boring. What was surprising was that the judges agreed with me. Well, except for Paula who called Blake the contemporary rebel of the group. I loved how Simon said the second song was completely tuneless and that Blake had a really bad night. Personally, I really can't stand Blake. He is so annoying. Of course, I also can't stand Lakisha. She just seems to be so emotionless, and I had the mouth movements that she makes. Maybe it's just that she has such a big mouth, extremely fat and mobile tongue and bad teeth. Anyway, I think that it is a toss up between her and Blake--with Blake probably going. Jordin Sparks sang both her songs with power and emothion. She is by far really the best of the bunch, and she would really be marketable if she gets a recording contract. In fact, her second song was even better, Woman in Love. In my opinion, Jordin is the person who should win the competition. We'll have to see who goes tomorrow.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007 -- Evening

Results on American Idol, and unfortunately Phil Stacey went home first. It sucked because Lakisha was paired with him, and she was safe. The show was an hour long, and Phil left at the midway point. Phil sang the Blaze of Glory song, and went through the audience shaking hands and thanking people. He ended the song with a group hug with the other contestants. Phil is class act. Tonight two people left the show, and the second person who left was Chris Richardson. He was smiling and trying not to let people see him sad.

Tuesday, May 1, 2007 -- Evening

I watched American Idol this evening, and I really disagreed with Simon Cowell. It was Bon Jovi night, and Phil Stacey started it off with a great job singing Blazing Glory. Simon Cowell thought it wasn't that great and Phil would be out this week. I think that when he says that stuff sometimes, he really influences the audience. I have to admit that the whole mannequin look really freaks me out. Jordin Sparks didn't do a very good job with Living on a Prayer. That's the problem with genres. Bon Jovi music is not Jordin's cup of tea. As for Lakisha Jones, her outfit was vomit inducing! She had on a black tank top with broad red horizontal stripe from the bottom of her boobs to the top of her big belly. It topped off a pair os spandex looking pants. Lakisha, keep this outfit in the closet--or throw it in the trash! Bon Jovi thought that that Lakisha's rendition of this one jazzy song of his was good. It was better at the end, but a Lakisha fan I ain't. So I'm hoping that she is one of the two leaving tomorrow. Blake Lewis, is so fricking lame! He died his hair black, and sang You Give Love a Bad Name. He did an obnoxious amount of beatboxing. I was underimpressed with the performance. Of course, the judges thought that it was the most original version of a song ever on American Idol. Jon Bon Jovi wasn't too impressed and said that 16 beats of beatboxing in a singing competition might not go over big with the audience. Chris Richardson sang Wanted: Dead or Alive. Chris' version was a shriek fest. I think ot the six that remain, he is one of the weakest singers. He's basically trying to get by on the Justin Timberlake effect. As usual, Melinda Doolittle did not disappoint. She is a true professional, and she is able to pick out sings even in genres that aren't her true style. She had a very Tina Turner sound this evening with Happy a Nice Day. Who do I think will leave tomorrow? Lakisha and Chris. At least they are two that I hope leave.

Friday, April 27, 2007 -- Early Evening

The American Idol folks raised $60 million this week for their charity program. It was really a sly way to get money from having people watch the show and vote. I guess that since they raised the money for relief programs for Africa and America (how about South America and Asia?) I suppose I should complain too much. All I know is that I thought the two hour show was a waste, and that it was quite a scam to get people to vote--when it really didn't result in someone being voted off.

Thursday, April 26, 2007 -- Late Morning

American Idol was disappointing yesterday. The show was two hours long, and was basically a fund raising for the American Idol charity causes. I recorded the show and fast forwarded through it because I was really only interested in who would be leaving. Was I ever disappointed to find out that no one was being kicked off! The plan is to tally the results from this week and next week. Then two contestants will be booted off next week.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007 -- Evening

Tonight was the night that American Idol was giving back to those who were disadvantaged. There were plenty of clips throughout the show about groups that needed assistance through hard times. News Corp is giving money to the various charities based on the call-in votes. To take advantage of the opportunity, the viewers can call for four hours to vote. The theme was songs that are inspirational. Blake Lewis really sucked while singing John Lennon's Imagine. Imagine is hard song to sing especially if you are blah in personality. Paula loved it though--as one would imagine. I was also very under-impressed with Lakisha Jones choice of I Believe. The song started out very weak, and was just so-so. I think that Lakisha and Blake are on the bubble this week. Phil Stacey is being supported by Vote for the Worst. Unfortunately, I think that Lakisha is probably more in need of the web site's services. Jordin and Melinda as usual were really good. As the show was wrapping up, I saw Chris Richardson, and was reminded that I didn't think so much of his performance either. We'll have to see tomorrow who gets voted out.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007 -- Evening

It finally had to happen. In a flood of his own tears and Simon Cowell's huge smile, Sanjaya was voted off of American Idol. The shocker to some was that Lakisha and Blake were in the bottom three. I wasn't very shocked as you can see from the comments I made earlier today. The only two that I thought were good were Melinda and Jordin. I think that Jordin should win in the end because I think she would be hugely marketable. In the meantime, let's shed a tear for Sanjaya. I'll miss his fun presence on the show.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007 -- Early Afternoon

As I was creating my photo pages last night, I watched the American Idol competition. Last night was country night with Martina McBride doing the coaching. Sanjaya was his usual poor performing self. Last night, he had this bandana over his hair that really made him look weird. Simon really ripped into him, and said that it was all fine and dandy that folks were laughing and having a good time, but that it was a singing compeition. I disagree. They call it "American IDOL" which doesn't imply singing--it implies having personality or looks that makes young girls want to buy your music. Sanjaya appears to fit that bill. The only two who really sounded good out of the seven were Jordin Sparks and Melinda Doolittle. Blake Lewis was bad--but got kudos from the judges anyway because they worship Blake for some reason. Lakisha is just loud, and she moves her mouth in weird ways that really bothers me. Chris Richardson also sucks while trying to claim that he was intentionally sounding nasally to sound country. Phil Stacey wasn't so bad. I would put Chris, Blake, and Lakisha in the bottom three, but I doubt that will happen.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007 -- Evening

It was elimination night on American Idol. Phil Stacey, Haley Scarnato, and Chris Richardson are in the final three. I wasn't surprised at the selection. Chris was the first one sent back to his seat, bringing it down to Phil and Haley. Jennifer Lopez sang her song Como Ama Una Mujer. It was a very nice song. Finally, after an hour of dragging it out, we find that after over 35 million votes (the biggest vote of the season), Haley was sent home.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007 -- Evening

I just finished watching American Idol. It was Jennifer Lopez night, which meant that the contestants had to sing Latino music. It was really hard for most of them because to really get Latino music as J. Lo said, you have to have emotion and passion. J. Lo had her hands full because for the most part this crowd lacks in personality and fire. In my opinion, the best performance of the evening was....Sanjaya! Yep, you read right. His performance was full of emotion. Sanjaya had to win over the Latinos who watched the performance because he sang in Spanish with alot of feeling. Great job! I even made sure to put in a few calls for Sanjaya because it would really suck if he was voted out on his best night. Also, I didn't realize that Jennifer Lopez had such a vibrant personality. Of course, I should have guessed it, but I only saw pictures of her without hearing her talk. Unfortunately, she failed in getting the contestants to have fun with the music. I can't wait for tomorrow when J. Lo will perform.

Wednesday, April 4, 2007 -- Evening

We got to find out who was eliminated on American Idol this evening. Sanjaya was in the middle three with Brad Lewis and Chris Richardson. Melinda Doolittle, Lakisha Jones, and Jordin Sparks were in the top three. Yep, that meant that Phil, Gina, and Haley were in the bottom three. After 33 million people voted, Gina Glocksen was sent home. There were pleny of tears between Haley and Gina who were in the bottom two.

Wednesday, April 4, 2007 -- Late Morning

The Vote for the Worst folks just crack me up. The emails that they get from people who are barely able to use the English language who threaten to get "my lawyer" on the case of closing the web site are so hilarious. Come on, do these folks really expect anyone to believe they have their own personal lawyers? Whatever happened to freedom or speech or voting for the person you want to win instead of Sanjaya. The funniest part is that these whiners believe that Sanjaya spells the end to American Idol. The only thing I have to say is that if Taylor Hicks didn't spell the end to the show, I don't think that Sanjaya will. Perhaps in future, Simon, Paula, and Randy will make sure to put only the 24 people who could in theory be winners of the show in the viewer vote-in portion. Last night was Tony Bennett night on the show, and most of the performers I think are expendable. The only two that I think have really talent and are capable of "Idol" status are Melinda Doolittle and Jordan Sparks. I happen to agree with Mr. Bennett who said that Sanjaya is a nice kid who can sing. He may not be the best singer, but Sanjaya is an entertainer. He is just as capable of handling Idol status as Ruben Stoddard, Taylor Hicks, or Leif Garrett. Who do I think will leave tonight? Any of the six who aren't Melinda, Jordan, or Sanjaya have an equal chance in my opinion because they equally lack in personality and have similar singing abilities. I think that Brad Lewis and Lakisha Jones are two of the most overrated contestants who for some reason inspire Simon, Paula, and Randy to swoon over their insipid singing.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007 -- Evening

I just finished watching American Idol, and I was shocked at who was voted off. Sanjaya did NOT make it into the bottom three. Chris Sligh, Haley Scarnato, and Phil Stacey. Phil got to sit down first while Chris and Haley had to suffer through who was going home. Chris was finally put out of his misery and sent home. I can't wait to hear the moans from the folks want to see Sanjaya gone. Next week should be great because it is Tony Bennett theme night.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007 -- Morning

I watched American Idol last night, and I have to admit that most of the singers were disappointing in my opinion. I'm not sure what the theme was supposed to be, but Gwen Stefani was the coach for the group of 10. I thought that the most disappointing momemt was the first when Lakisha Jones sang Donna Summers' Last Dance. I was groaning throughout the song and thought that at best it was a karaoke performance at best, but for some reason, the judges were lapping it up like they were dogs in a hot desert. Sanjaya was entertaining to say the least. He had a mohawk made up of little ponytails, and basically made a fool of himself. However, he does have his fan base and the Vote for the Worst gang. The people that I thought might be in trouble are Chris Sligh who did just okay, Chris Richardson, who has a really weak voice, and Haley Scarnato, who did some weird things with True Colors. The bright moment was Jordin Sparks. I think that girl has pizazz and talent, and at 17 years of age, someone is probably salavating at the chance of signing her to a contract. I think that she is going to go far. Tonight is the vote off show, and then there will be nine!

Thursday, March 22, 2007 -- Evening

I watched the American Idol elimination last night. Stephanie Edwards was the person sent home, and Sanjaya is still there. The only shocker was that Chris Richardson was also in the bottom two. I thought his song was weak, but I thought that since all three judges raved over him, and he has that cute look that he would be safe. Obviously more people were underimpressed like me. I could not believe that Phil Stacey wasn't in the bottom part of the draw. I am leaning towards supporting Sanjaya just because some folks appear to be getting really ticked off about him not being voted off. There's someone out there who is going to starve herself until Sanjaya is voted off. Almost makes me want to see him in the final two. After all, if he is such crap why was he in the final 24 after all those people auditioned and went to Hollywood. I would say that the judges should only put 24 people in who could in theory win. If you don't think Sanjaya is good enough to win, don't put him in the final 24.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007 -- Morning

I watched American Idol last night, and I have to admit that it was an enjoyable show. The theme was the British invasion, and Lulu and Peter Noone (of Herman's Hermits) were there to assist the Idols in the song selection and singing. Jordan Sparks did an excellent job with the song I (Who Have Nothing). She can really sing, and she put alot of emotion into the song. LaKisha Jones sang Diamonds Are Forever from the James Bond flick of the same name. She should have chosen a song that was more challenging, but I think she did a good job. Melinda Doolittle also did a great job with her song, As Long As He Needs Me. Even Sanjaya Malakar did a decent job. It would really suck if he were eliminated this evening after giving his best performance to date. There was this young girl in the audience who was crying when Sanjaya sung, and Simon Cowell made the remark that the girl said it all. That's when Ryan and Randy let him know that the girl was crying because she liked it. It seems she is a Sanjaya fan. Ryan had Sanjaya go out into the audience to give the girl a hug, and at the end of the show, she was brought up to the stage to hug the other Idols. The poor girl was bawling her eyes out! Who will go home tonight? That could be a toughy. I think that the bottom three will be Phil Stacey, Gina Glocksen, and Haley Scarnato. Stephanie Edwards is another possibility for the bottom three. We'll have to see what happens tonight.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007 -- Evening

American Idol is down to the final 11. Yesterday evening, the final twelve competed, and most of them were not very good. It was Diana Ross night, and you know they always tell the singers not to take on an icon, so they have them take on an icon. It wasn't surprising that so many were abit subpar. Both Melinda Doolittle (my favorite) and LaKisha Jones were excellent. Poor Sanjaya Malakar really is out of his league, but somehow he has a huge fan base. He looked really bizarre in the competition yesterday with extremely curly hair and gold, hoop earrings. His voice is weak though. Brandon Rogers, Haley Scarnato, and Stephanie Edwards forgot the words to their songs. I really felt for Haley, and I think the judges did too because the poor girl was obviously trying so hard not to cry. She did though when Simon Cowell said that she wasn't that bad. Who got voted out this evening? Brandon Rogers. It comes down to picking the right song, remembering the words, and not having a huge fan base!

Friday, March 9, 2007 -- Evening

I watched the American Idol show that I recorded last night. Antonella Barba finally went home. I wonder if that will be for the best for her, and hopefully stop all the publicity that she has been getting with the risque photos that were taken by her boyfriend (I hope an ex). Jared Cotter, the tall model type, was also booted. He wasn't that great though, so it was no biggie to see him go. The judges were more shocked at Sabrina Sloan being eliminated, and I have to agree. I didn't think that she was that bad this week. Sundance Head also went home. He didn't impress me, but the shocker is that Sanjaya Malakar has managed to make it to the final 12. He might stick around abit because it seems he has a large fan base. The thing that I don't get is Simon Cowell's constant remark about how it is a singing competition. I disagree. It's not called American Singer, it's called American Idol. The Idol part of it is the reason that people with fans or charisma hang around longer than technically better singers. It's the personality factor. Look at last year's final two. Taylor Hicks and Katharine McPhee are one hit wonders, and we probably won't hear much more from them--especially Taylor. Chris Daughtry, who only got to the final four, will probably do better in the long run. That's the way it goes.

Wednesday, March 7, 2007 -- Evening

I watched both the men and the women from American Idol this evening. The men were on last night, and the women performed tonight. The men were pitiful. None of them stood out, and as far as I am concerned, any of them could go. It was that unmemorable. The women were far better than the men with one or two exceptions (such as Antonella Barba). My favorite is former backup singer, Melinda Doolittle. She is the one who always is so lacking in confidence, and yet she it the best of the bunch.

Friday, March 2, 2007 -- Morning

Yesterday on American Idol, some of the worst singers weren't booted off. Surprisingly, after doing an awfu job both Sanjaya Malakar and Antonella Barba both will be back next week. Those voted off are: Nick Pedro, Alaina Alexander, AJ Tabaldo, and Leslie Hunt. I thought Leslie Hunt was on the bland side, and she reminded me of someone that I knew and didn't like.

Thursday, February 22, 2007 -- Evening

I watched the women perform last night on American Idol. They were better than the men with a few really good performances. I really liked 17 year old Jordin Sparks, Melinda Doolittle, the backup singer who seems stiff when she moves, and LaKisha Jones, who has a little 4 year old daughter. I skimmed through the show this evening during an intermission in the hockey game to find out that Amy Krebs, the girl who Simon Cowell said didn't stand out--and she didn't, and Nicole Tranquillo were sent home. The surprise was on the mens' side. Paul Kim was the first to go, and that wasn't much of a shock. HIs performance wasn't that great. Also I think his ethnic background went against him because I don't think that America wants to vote for an East Asian. The second guy out was more of a shock because Sundance Head wasn't voted out, and Sanjaya Malakar, the 17 year old, wound up getting the fourth highest vote amongst the men. Rudy Cardenas was the second man sent packing.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007 -- Late Morning

I watched American Idol last night. It was the first night for the top 24 to compete, so we had two hours of the 12 men singing their little hearts out. It was dismally disappointing, however, with practically all of them sounding bad and singing boring songs. I thought that Sundance Head was the worst. He picked the song that I dislike the most Knights in White Satin and did an extremely miserable job with it. I can only hope that the women do better. I have to admit at this point that I am really glad that I'm not keeping up on blogging about the show. Especially considering all the hockey games that are coming up, I would really have difficulty forcing myself to watch three evenings of torture a week. If I were forced to pick the best of the bunch, it would probably be Chris Robinson. As the judges said, he was the only one who sounded like he came from this decade!

Thursday, February 8, 2007 -- Evening

I have given up on my blogging about American Idol. I just haven't had alot of time with the full season tickets to the Pens, being very busy at work, and not having enough time in the evenings to do all the things that I want to do. Something had to give, and with American Idol requiring three nights a week, it was the first to go. I might watch the show from time to time, but I'm just not going to be able to watch it on a steady basis. The same applies to Survivor: Fiji.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007 -- Evening

It was catch-up night with American Idol. I watched last night's show and tonight's. First up was last night's show with the crew in Birmingham, Alabama. First up is Erika Skye. She's pretty, and is studying Biological Sciences. Her thought is to sing Simon's favorite song Unchained Melody. She can't sing. She's pretty, but tone deaf. She thought that the solution was to sing very loud. She was taken aback by Simon's look of horror. The family thought that the judges would like her. Simon said that it was like a never ending torture. Erika insisted on singing another song. Paula Abdul walked away, and Randy and Simon were left to listen in disgust. Paula says that she's shocked at how bad it was. Simon and Randy wanted to call security to escort her out. We then see a few people crying as they left. Next up is baby talker, Katie Bernard, says that her singing voice is different than her talking voice. We can only hope so. It is different, but not necessarily better. Randy wants to give her another chance. Randy says yes, and Simon says no. Paula tells her that she got married and should spend time with her husband. Katie explains to her husband the whole deal. Paula sends her through to Hollywood just for the whole drama with Katie. As Paula says, Katie made her day.

Next up is a huge fan of the show, Tatianna McConnico. She is a young girl who loves the show, but hopes that she is competing and doesn't have to watch it. She has an interesting voice and song choice. Randy thought it was good. Randy said the girl was a natural, and she is on her way to Hollywood. After Tatianna is a real fatty. Diana Walker sings Saving All My Loving. I couldn't get over her barrel fatness. She also can't sing. Simon said that he never heard the song sung like that before. Diana said she got a standing ovation, and Randy asked if they got up to leave when they stood.

Bernard Williams II is next and sings Rock With You. It's not that bad. Simon said it was very good and gave 100% yes. Paula thought that Bernard has a great tone, but was off key. Randy said yes. Surprise of surprises is that Paula was the ney-sayer. Big Bird look-alike Margaret is next. She is fat, fat, fat, and has on a yellow feather top and waddles into the audition. She also has a baby sounding voice. Randy wonders aloud what is going on with this show. Simon sighs with disgust. Simon said that she looks like an Easter Bunny nightmare. Margaret originally said she was 26, then 33, but she was really 56.

Next up, we saw people who got their tickets--no singing, just the excitement afterwards. Next up we have a Kellie Pickler a-like. She lives with her paralyzed father who shot himself after shooting his cheating wife. Jamie Lynn Ward is pretty, and she does have a nice voice. Paula said that she has a pretty voice when she sings naturally. Simon said that he agreed with what Paula just said. Randy said yes and that Jamie has to work on her nasally sound. Simon said that he would have said no but that she already made it to Hollywood. The last contestant of the day is a chubby guy who is 28. He has curly longish black hair. He seems really weird and hopes that he doesn't sound like crap. When he comes in front of the judges, he wants to make David Hasslehoff cry. Chris Sligh can actually sing very good and it was quite surprising to hear him after looking at him. Chris is also very funny. Paula starts applauding and acting silly. She said that she likes Chris very much. Randy likes him too. Simon tells Chris that he is through to Hollywood. As Chris said, he let his personality show, and Paula crumbled in his chubby little hand.

Paula is missing the next day, and it is only Simon and Randy. Victoria Watson has hair that is six feet long. Her mom has been growing her hair since she was 29, and that her mother is beautiful. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Simon and Randy are shocked at the length of her hair. Victoria thinks that she can touch people's hearts with her music. Simon asks to see the mother, and she comes in too. Randy is shocked at the lengthy of her mom's hair. Victoria has an operatic sounding voice. Simon said that he could tell her mom liked the song--and would be the only one to like the music. Randy thought it was just okay. Victoria cried as her father hugged her. Lakia Hill thinks that she is the total package of looks and singing. Unfortunately, the voice was really giving me a headache. Simon asked "what the heck is that?" Lakia said that she was nervous, and Simon said it was a complete and utter mess. Simon thinks that she has the worst voice in Birmingham.

There were alot of polite rejectees. We also so Team Nichole. Nicole said that she sang because her mom told her that she couldn't, and she wanted to prove her wrong. Nichole Gatzman sings, and she can sing. Nichole is 17, and Simon said that she sings through her nose. Randy said that she isn't ready for it yet, but that she should come back. Her mom said that as long as she gave her best that is all that anyone can ask for. Last up is inane laugher, Brandy Patterson. She thinks that she is going to totally overwhelm the judges. She sings LIke a Virgin. She has no voice, rhythm, or dancing ability. Simon says "thank you Brandy for an absolutely rotten audition." Brandy said that it was the floor, so Simon tells her to sing on the carpet. She does, and it isn't any better. Simon said that Brandy is barking mad. Simon said that she was worse on the carpet than on the woooden floor. Brandy tells Randy and Simon that they don't know talent when they see it. Brandy said that Paula is better than them all. Brandy was quite funny ripping on Simon and Randy with them ripping back. 20 people made it to Hollywood from Birmingham.

Tonight's show is in Los Angeles. Olivia Newton John joined the judges. You know you will have problems when the first contestant does panther imitations. He does that at the beginning of his routine and ripping off his shirt. Martik really can't sing. He goes by the nickname of Eccentric. All four judges say "no way." Sholandric Stallworth is into romantic songs. He tries to sing a romantic song, but as Simon said, it was hideous. Even Randy thought it was bad. Olivia Newton John said that his pitch wasn't on. Paula just looks depressed.

It seems there are alot of weird people who are singing there. People dressed as bananas and cowgirl in a cow costume. Marianna Ricco has a mother who used to sing with Dean Martin. However, unfortunately, she wasn't good. Simon said that Marianna sounded like Cher coming from the dentist. Marianne gets on her knees and starts crying, pleading for a second chance. All four of the judges say no. Marianna got her mom and brought her into the audition. Her mom said that Marianna gets an audience moving. Paula rolls her eyes and Simon and Randy said that mom was foxy and hot. Next up is Alaina Alexander who is a Hollywood want-to-be. It's her last shot at stardom. She can sing, and you can tell that Randy and Simon like her because they are bobbing their heads. Simon said that he thought it was really, really, really great. Randy liked her, but thought that she was pitchy. Alaina starts crying. All four say yes.

Okay, then there is the Asian girl who thinks that she has alot in common with Taylor Hicks. She does imitations of Taylor Hicks. Then she starts crying because her mom said that she isn't tv pretty. Phuong Pham really can't sing, and her audition is basically a bad impression of Taylor Hicks. Simon keeps on calling her Pong even though her name is pronounced Fong. Simon said that he doesn't know which was worse the singing or dancing. Simon tells Phuong that there isn't a chance for her. Brandon was a background singer for four years. Brandon Rogers does have a nice voice. Paula and Olivia really liked the singing. Simon thought that Brandon had the best audition of the day.

Brian Miller is back for a second shot at Hollywood. Simon says that he is a nice looking guy, nice voice, but forgetable. Randy, Olivia, and Paula say yes. Simon says no, but Brian gets a second chance. Next up is Sherman Pore who's love of his life was terminally ill. She died two days before the audition, but helped him petition for Sherman to get on the show. Sherman is allowed to sing, even thought he is 64. Sherman has to a nice voice, and can sing. He's just a tad old. Paula cries as he sings. Simon asks to shake his hand, and the women give hugs and kisses. 21 people went to Hollywood on day one.

Day two of the auditions. Randy believes that a winner can come from LA this year. Next up is a girlfriend/boyfriend couple. They have been dating for two years after meeting at the bus stop. Cavett Carr, the girl, goes first. She can't sing at all. It sounds really bad. She is really fat, and when she gets down on her knees, I'm reminded of a beached whale. She sings the whole song to Simon, and has this weird wink going on. Simon said that the singing was off-putting. Simon and the rest say no. Next up is Darold Gray. Simon said that Cavett was singing a suggestive song and displaying inappropriate behavior. Darold also can't sing. Darold gets four nos. Darold and Cavett still have each other.

Last up is psycho looking and talking Eric Mueller. As he said before he went in, people are going to say they haven't heard anything like him. He doesn't sing very well. Simon keeps on telling him to go lower. Simon tells Eric that he is attrocious. Simon calls Eric back in because Simon sees that Eric taught himself to sing from Paula and Randy's singing tape. Simon goes running after Eric as Paula and Randy chase Simon. 19 more people went to Hollywood on the second day.

Thursday, January 25, 2007 -- Evening

Wednesday night's American Idol auditions were in New York City. The show hasn't had auditions in NY City since the third season. Carol Bayer Sager joined the judges as a guest judge. Paula wanted to sit next to Carol, but Randy and Simon were on either side of her. Ian Benardo who tried out for So You Want to Dance is now here to try out for American Idol. He is so weird. He sings Gloria--well, he talks the song very quickly, in a thick NY accent. Randy said that he didn't know what to say, and wanted to know if Ian was real. Simon said it was a very hammy and bad audition. Simon tells Ian that he isn't good at anything and called it rubbish. Ian is escorted out by security. What a way to start! Sarah Burgess, who's 19, snuck out of home in Ohio to come to the audition. She cries because she wants her dad to be proud of her and not always disappointed in her. She cries in front of the judges too. She actually can sing nicely, and sings Call Me. Simon said that he likes Sarah. He says she's not the best singer, but she's a tryer who doesn't have a bad voice. Randy likes her too, and says it's a different sounding voice. Carol Bayer Sager also likes her. Paula says that she's proud of her. Sarah is on her way to Hollywood. Ryan Seacrest calls Sarah's dad. Sarah is crying and tells her dad that she wasn't in Ohio, but that she was in NY and got to American Idol. Ryan Seacrest talked to her dad too, and gave Sarah a big hug.

Fania Tsakalakos is a talker, and tells us all about what a great singer she is, and all about her Greek heritage. Simon tells her to get to the point, and she sings Africa by Todo. She really can't sing, but claims that she was told she could have won the Greek version of American Idol. Simon said everything about it was apauling. Simon said that he couldn't understand her claiming that she was a dancer when she couldn't dance. Ashanti Johnson is back--after failing twice on American Idol after making it to Hollywood. She sounds awful. Simon stops her. Simon thought it was very cabaret, and didn't want her to try again. Randy said that old RB singer is just who she is, and it sounds old-fashioned. They all pass on her. Carol Bayer Sager tells her to try Broadway. She tells Simon that he doesn't understand, and he says that he does. Ryan Seacrest calls it the Days of our LIves as Ashanti goes on with her spiel about how had she has tried. Ashanti said that if Americans saw her they would love her, and Simon says that the other three are Americans. Ashanti finally leaves after making her last soap opera appeal. Simon tells her that it didn't work, she wasn't good enough today, it was a no, and get over it.

Next up are Amanda and Antonella. They are BFF and hang out together all the time. They think that they should win American Idol as a group. Both go in together. They sing a duet, and Simon thought it was abit of a mess. Amanda Coluccio is first as Antonella steps aside--with Simon's eyes following her. Amanda sings Crazy. Randy thought she sounded good, and Simon said that it was a generic song and she didn't really stamp her foot. Simon said that he didn't feel strongly one way or the other. Paula and Randy both said yes, so Amanda is on to Hollywood. Next is Antonella Barba. She is much prettier than her friend. She doesn't sound so bad. Simon thought that she was better than her friend. They all agree that she is good and pretty. Simon wants to give Antonella a tip that when someone is down on the floor kick them. Antonella says not her best friend, and Simon said that he likes Ryan, but he could still kick him.

Next up in a human character voice guy. Clifton Biddle sings Touch by ZZ Top. Then Clifton plays the harmonica--which isn't singing. Simon said that it's four nos and Clifton is sent on his way. Then we got to see some clips of really bad male singers. William Van Stone, Jr. looked like a girl/guy. They were confused about him, and Simon stopped the audition early. Kia Thornton is next and sings Ain't No Way by Aretha Franklin. Simon said that Kia could sing, and that he didn't need to tell the girl that. Simon said that his only criticism was the song. Simon said it was the best of the day. Carol told her to not over sing, but to stay with the melody. They all say yes, and Kia is on to Hollywood.

Day 2. All four judges are back--well almost. Simon was feeling sick in the morning and it was just down to three judges. Next up is model cute, Jenry Bejarano. He is a black child who was adopted by non-black parents. He has a very nice voice to go along with his very good looks. Paula said that she was really surprised because he has a nice texture to his voice at 16. They all think that he has something and that he is charismatic. Next up is Little Nakia (who's very large) and too energetic. Nakia Claiborne sings Dancing in the Street. She isn't too bad, and she has alot of personality that just pours out. Paula said that Nakia is infectious, but abit over powering. So then Nakia sang something more like a ballad. Paula tells her that she needs more work with her singing. Carol said that the first song was just so much fun that Nakia had them going, so they didn't hear the flaws. Nakia said that she has so many people who gave her support and she just can't let them down. Nakia asks for an explanation. Randy tells her it is about finding the best, just not someone who can sing. The Nakia who came out of the judges room was totally depressed and lacking in energy. Nakia just wishes that she could change their mind. Her mom said that everything is okay, and she can just go home and do okay. Sarah Goldberg was next, and dressed up like a cowgirl. She sings a Selena song. She can't sing at all. How can people who can't sing think they can? Carol asks if Sarah thought in her heart that she could sing. Sarah said that came on the show because she loves to sing and her friends make fun of her because she is tone deaf. Sarah said that even if she doesn't sing, she can be the next American Idol because she can be taught to sing. Sarah doesn't think that you have to sing to be an American Idol. Sarah goes totally crazy after she is thrown out of the auditioning room. Sarah said that she found out that the judges were out drinking until 3 am, and that is rude.

Simon finally joins the judges. Antonio Torres, who is obviously well over the age limit sings New York, New York. What a farce! Next up is Canadian citizen, Jory Steinberg. She has a pleasant voice. Simon thought it was terrific and on the money. Paula thought it was very professional. Carol said that she thinks Jory is going Hollywood. She gets four yeses and is on her way to Hollywood. Simon asks why they all can't be like that. Next is the Rocky singer--who has worked out like she was going into a boxing match. Porcelana Patino has a chiseled body. She has one of those raspy voices. Paula thinks that she is awesome. Carol thought that she was unique and should have an opportunity. Randy said yes, and Porcelana wanted a group hug. She is on her way to Hollywood.

We had a montage of the judges having problems with names. Up next is Christopher Henry. He thinks that he looks like George MIchael and Simon Cowell. Paula and Randy claim they can see the resemblance. Simon laughs about it. Christopher sings a Kelly Clarkson song, and if my eyes were closed, I would think it was a female. It was really bad, especially the extended high note. Randy said it is quite different for a male. Simon said that Christopher should be singing in a dress and heels. Paula said that Simon is rude. Paula said that she wanted to give the guy career guidance. Paula and Simon really got into a cat fight. Paula said that she knew that Christopher was not right for the show. Opera student, Rachel Zevita, performs next. I find it hard to believe that she is an opera student because she has a really rough and raspy voice. The next song is not raspy. Randy then has her sing some opera, and that is much better. Simon wants to know who Rachel would like to be, and Rachel said that she would like to be herself. Carol, Randy, and Paula said yes. Simon said, you are all coming to Hollywood.

Everyone is partying in the holding room. This leads to another montage of bad singers singing All Night Long. Next up is Chris Richardson. He has a nice voice. Paula whispers to Randy while Chris sings. Carol says yes. Randy likes his voice and thought he looked like Justin Timberlake. Paula also said yes. Simon thinks that Chris can surprise them all in future by going further. They all tell Chris to take his time and let his voice "marinade".

More bad singing montage. Nicholas Pedro is back after bailing out of the competition while in Hollywood last season. Nick says that he was haunted by it and now is back to compete again. Nick now says that he takes his talent seriously and is back to redeem himself. He sings Fly Me to the Moon. He does have a nice voice. The women really like him. Carol thinks that Nicholas is wonderful. Randy and Paula both say yes. Simon said that he would have said yes, and that he is back. Carol liked him, and Paula said that she was rooting for Nicholas. Will he crack under the pressure again?

There is only one more contestant left. Her name is Isadora Furman, and she won't tell her real name. She claims to be a clairvoyant. She got everything wrong in reading Ryan's hand. Isadora claims that she is the next American Idol. It seems that Julie is Isadora's real first name. Isadora starts to act freaky, and she sings as freaky as she looks. She throws some orgasmic moans into the middle of the song. Simon asks what normally happens when she performs in public. Isadora is crazy and when she is told that she is terribly bad, she complains. Simon thought that rational discussion wouldn't work with Isadora. She seems haunted, and has really weird reactions and claims it is day three instead of two.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007 -- Evening

I am behind in my viewing of American Idol so I just had an opportunity this evening to watch yesterday's show with the Memphis auditions. Frank Byers, Jrs is first. He is a cheerleader coach, and sang Heard it Through the Grapevine. Simon Cowell hated it. Simon said it was over the top, and Paula agreed. Randy is was just too much too. The marching band and cheerleaders started performing, and Simon came out to tell them all to shut up because Frank wasn't going to Hollywood.

Next we see Timika Simms. Her nickname is Meeka--and that's probably because she is painfully shy and quiet. Simon couldn't understand a word that she said. And Timika couldn't sing at all. Simon told her that he couldn't understand a word of what she said. Randy said that it wasn't good. Timika kept on asking if she could sing another song, and Simon said it was pointless. They all told her that she couldn't sing. Chris Rivera is next. He couldn't sing either, but he was overloaded with ego. Again, Simon didn't understand a word of it. Then there was Braceface, Alexis Partee. I don't know where they get these people. By mid-morning, there wasn't a single person going to Hollywood. Next up is some chubby guy with weird beard. His dad is Roy Head who was a professional singer. Sundance Head draws chunkles for his name, and sings a blues song. He can definitely sing, and it was shocking because it wasn't what you expected from his look. Randy was just nodding his head. Simon said wow. Paula said that it was a powerful voice. Simon said it made it every way, and maybe the best voice so far. Simon said that he would be surprised if he doesn't make the finals. Simon said that Sundance blew Taylor out of the park.

Wandera Hytche was next, and she didn't necessarily have a very bad voice. She just looked weird. Simon said that there were so many singers just like Wandera. Paula said that she was a good singer, but nothing that said the next level. They wouldn't give her another try. She totally freaked out with crying and ripping her clothes. Travis McKinney has an emotional song that he has for his girlfriend, and says that he will just overwhelm everyone. It was some sort of weird rap that sounded really bad. Randy said that it was crazy and wild. They all said no, no, no. Next is blonde, Danielle McCulloch. Her goal is just to make the judges smile and be happy. She wasn't that bad. Paula said that she was like an old soul. Randy wasn't blown away, but Simon liked the blues part of her voice. Randy said no because she didn't think she was good. Paula said yes, and so did Simon. Danielle is going to Hollywood. Day one ends, and it is on to day two.

Topher McCain is in love with Paula. HIs wife was a slut who cheated on him, and they were divorced. Topher is fat and very geeky. Simon said it was like one of those weddings where someone gets drunk and sings Footloose. Topher said it was all cool even though they didn't like his singing. Next up was Janita Burks who said that the judges would be impressed with her confidentiality. She meant confidence. She said Disco Inferno, and her boobs kept on coming out of her top and flopping around. They gave her 10 seconds to sing something else. Next up Che Guevera--aka Sean Michel. He has this long beard and hair. He sings a Johnny Cash song, and actually does singing. Paula thought that it was soulful. Simon said that he expected something about a revolution. All three thought that he was a good singer. He just looks different.

Next up is Melinda Doolittle. She is a background singer. It seems that she is afraid of being on the stage on her own. She sings Stevie Wonder's For Once in My Life. Paula thought that she was really good. Randy said that she looked scared to death. Randy said being a background singer for a long time, she might not be able to come up to the front and sing. Simon said that she was a brilliant singer with no attitude or confidence. Simon said that she was in the top 2% of good singers. They all said it was one of the best vocal performances. Randy tells her to believe in herself because she knows she's got it. Next up is someone who thinks he sounds just like Elvis Presley. The only one he can sing is Burning Love. He thinks he is the next American Idol. He reminds me of a grown up Kenny from the Cosby Show. Robert Lee Holmes starts singing, and of course, he can't. Paula told him it wasn't that good, and Randy said it was just terrible. Robert looked extremely upset. The funniest thing was the montage of singers who sucked singing Burning Love.

Last up is Philip Stacy who sings My Girl for his wife who gave birth to a daughter that morning. Randy liked the voice, but he doesn't get the look. Randy says yes for the voice. Paula wishes she could hear something else. Philip then sings Let's Get it on. Paula says yes. Randy and Simon are arguing about whether it is good or not, but Philip is on his way to Hollywood. We see some others who made it to Hollywood in a quick montage. Then we see Philip with his newborn baby.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007 -- Evening

American Idol moves on to Seattle in tonight's episode. No guest judge tonight. We had a return of the guy who sang I Shot the Sheriff in one of the auditions last year. Brandon Groves was dressed as Uncle Sam and sang an off tuned God Bless America. Then there was the ugly girl with a double chin who called herself "Hotness" and who thought she sounded like Mariah Carey. Jennifer Chapton could not sing. Can they ever if they think they sound like Mariah? Jennifer distracted me because it looked to me as if she had a mustache. Amy Salgado was up next with a raspy voice that she blamed on a cold. She said her husband was trying to keep her down by telling her not to waste her time by going to the audition. Simon and Randy told her that she was tone deaf, and it was just hurting the poor girl because she thought she could sing. Darwin Reedy was an ugly woman with bleached hair. She looked just like her mother. She thought she was sexy, but she needed a bra for those misshapen flopping boobs. The judges asked if her mother would like to be there. Simon said that the two only had to switch hair and they look like each other. Guess what? Darwin couldn't sing. Mother and daughter said they would continue to watch the show.

Tommy Daniels was up, even though he was soaked from the rain, and had quit his job at a gas station. This was his third try in three years, and he actually sounded good. Carline Stavros brought her dog. She had a pretty face, but she was pretty fat. She looked like a sausage in her outfit. Carline called her fat butt "fluffy". She had a really fat boyfriend who hung around outside. My gosh, she had a slew of ugly looking friends. She started out okay with the singing, but lost it somewhere. It was a no go for Carline. Blake Lewis looked like a mad scientist. He was into beat boxing with his voice, and that was neat. I don't think he did a bad job. Simon thought that Blake was over the top. Paula liked him alot. Simon didn't think he was as good, but Blake was on to the next round. Next up were a brother and sister pair. They are going to compete individually. First up is the sister, Shyamalai Malakar (19(. She sings Summertime, and she had a nice voice. Paula and Randy liked her and sent her to Hollywood. Simon wasn't as thrilled. The brother, Sanjaya, (17) is supposed to be the better sister. Sanjaya loves Stevie Wonder. He sings Signed, Sealed, Delivered, and does a nice job with it. Simon said yes to Sanjaya and said Sanjaya had the better voice. Shyamala thought the judges response was better for her younger brother.

Next up is a software engineer from near--excuse him--in the Salt Lake City area. You have to worry when yuu hear a geeky software engineer claim he can hit all the notes. Nicholas Zitzmann's co-workers encouraged him to go to sing. He sang a Righteous Brothers song Unchained Melody. Simon looked like he was in pain, and it was painful to hear even on tv. Nicholas said that he would have to review the tape to find out how to get better, but he might frighten himself. Rudy Cardenas sang Journey's Open Arms for Randy (who used to play in Journey). Simon said that it was a no, but Paula sais one million percent yes. Randy said yes so Rudy is on to Hollywood.

Second day in Seattle. First up is a scary looking Peter Lorre lookalike, Kenneth Briggs. He claims he is going to win the competition, but he leaves Paula and Randy in hysterics with his singing and dancing. Simon told Kenneth that he looked odd--like a bush baby with those massive eyes. Paula told Kenneth that he was awesome like a firecracker. Kenneth's new buddy, fat Jonathan Jayne is in next. Jonathan said he could win because he is different and has an amazing personality. Kenneth thought that Jonathan sounded really good. Just what you would expect from someone who was tone deaf. Simon said it was beautiful--sarcastically. Simon told Jonathan that he was a nice guy, but singing wasn't the career path for him.

Next we had was a Taylor Hicks look-alike, Eric Chapman. He tried to sing a Doobie Brothers song. Simon made Eric swear on his mother's life that Eric was for real. Eric did, but they got the security guards to escort him out because Eric wanted to "fix" Simon's hair. Anna Kerns is 6 feet 4 inches and dwarfs Ryan Seacrest. Anna sings Aretha Franklin's Respect. Simon comments to Paula that Anna is the tallest girl that he saw. The judges thought that she was loud. Simon said that Anna was interesting. Randy and Paula started growling, so Simon wouldn't talk. Anna got to Hollywood and as she left, Simon told Paula and Randy they put through a giraffe.

Jordin Sparks, 16, is next and sings Celine Dion's Because You Love Me. You didn't do a bad job. Simon and Randy started to whisper while Jordin was singing. Paula loved her. Randy said that he was blown away. Simon thought that it was too cutsey with a weird smile and too sugary. Randy tells Jordin that she is a natural. Paula thought that Jordin would do well. Randy said it was perfect. Jordin is on her way to Hollywood. Jordin's dad is Phillippi Sparks who played in the NFL for nine years.

Last up is Steven Thung. He looks scary with that red hair and intense face. Steven said that he is cooler than Carrot Top. Steven said he entered the audtion because he likes competition. Steven thinks he is as good as Freddie Mercury and sings Bohemian Rhapsody. Everyone starts laughing because Steven can't sing a note. I was fixating on Steven's mouth because I could only see one tooth in his mouth. That's because the one tooth was twice the length of the rest of his teeth. Steven said that lack of practice and coaching were the reason for his lack of singing skill. Simon said that he couldn't coach Steven because it would be like coaching a one legged man to race a hundred meters. Steven is sent on his way. It's on to Memphis next week.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007 -- Early Evening

I started watching the American Idol auditions from yesterday, and I have to admit that it started out as one of the saddest and most traumatic events. The first audition is in Minneapolis, and Jewel was a guest judge. Jennifer thought that she was a singer and she was overwhelmed at singing in front of her favorite singer, Jewel. Jessica sucked and when she was told that she couldn't since, she started crying hysterically with her family. It was heartrending, and it made me wonder why I was watching a show that mocks people who can't sing and just crushes them. It's definitely going to take a while to get into the mood to watch this season. Trent Benham was next, and he claimed to be an Amish guy who couldn't sing. It was funny--especially if you just think of it as a staged show. Otherwise you get depressed and sickened by people who have no concept that they can't sing--and who are crushed at being denyed their opportunity.

Jesse Holloway was funny because he made the comment that he could sing in more ranges than others. Guaranteed comedy. Then he started to sing Celion Dion's The Heart Must Go On. Next up was Charles Monroe who was dressed like Apollo Creed in an Uncle Sam outfit and boxing gloves. He sang an Italian aria. As Simon said, the thought of taking it all seriously was not normal. Funniest part was that no one seemed to be able to leave the room because they would choose the locked door to exit. You had to feel for Denise Jackson. She was a crack baby raised by her grandmother. She was 16, and had a booming voice. Simon thought that she was a good singer potentially. They moved her on to Hollywood. Then there was Perla Meneses who came from Columbia. She was going for the look to appeal to Simon. She couldn't sing, and she sang Blondie's Call Me. She was cute, and when Randy Jackson had her sing Shakira, she did a much better job. Randy liked her spunky attitude, and Jewel thought that she was cute and perky. They all said yes and sent Perla to Hollywood--with her Charo accent. As Simon said, Perla is great fun.

Jarrod Fowler won a contest on his battleship, the USS Reagan. He sang Rascal Flatts, and Simon said that he thought people would like Jarrod. They all sent Jarrod on to Hollywood. My favorite was the big, fat girl who sang King of the Forest from The Wizard of Oz. She left Simon speechless, and he said it was one of the strangest auditions that he ever saw. Then in came Steven Horst--singing teacher--who encourages people to live in the now and tell the story. I loved it when Steven was told by Randy that Steven shouldn't be a vocal teacher. Simon encouraged the argument. Simon said that he was amazed at Randy's rudeness and audicity. Simon said that he wouldn't have gotten personal. Yeah, right!

Michelle Stenglas did a nice job. They all liked her and Simon thought the public would like her. She is on her way to Hollywood. The judges made fun of Dayna Dooley who was flown to the audition by her boss--who also came with his wife. Dayna was not a very good singer at all. The judges asked to see the boss. He was called in, and Simon told him that Dayna couldn't sing a note in tune. Randy said that Dayna is tone deaf and can't carry a tune. Well, Dayna did sing better with her boss around. Randy said no because she will fall apart without her boss in front of her. They said no, and they all said that Gary the boss was a nice guy. Rachel Jenkins, whose husband was in Iraq and who was herself in the Army reserve, sang. Simon liked her, but thought she wasn't the best singer, but he liked her. She wasn't good, but she was on to Hollywood--in her fatigues.

Brenda was really scary looking, and she couldn't sing. But she was a huge fan of American Idol. Brenda didn't understand why no one told her 10 years ago that she couldn't sing. She said that she had a degree in vocal performance, and how could she improve. Simon said that she could improve by leaving. Josh, the rocker, only had one sound. The judges said that he only had one sound, and that he couldn't sing anything else. So they sent him out to select an ABBA song to sing. He came back, and sounded exactly the same. The judges all turned him down and it was tears for Josh. Next up is Seattle.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007 -- Morning

I didn't get a chance to watch the first set of auditions for American Idol last night. I have the show recorded, and plan on a four hour viewing of the show. The two hour shows in two consecutive nights is a tad draining because I also have the Pens games to attend and watch. Let's just say that American Idol will definitely be taking a back seat to the Pens.